We all know that one person who loves to share Pinterest quotes on social media. The quotes that are written in the most beautiful calligraphy, normally surrounded with flowers and say uplifting things or sometimes Bible verses.
I’m not the type to share these quotes but I do like reading them. Some of them can be airy fairy nonsense but there are times one hits you hard and makes you think. The quote below was one such quote for me:
It took me back to 2012, lying in a hospital bed being wheeled to theatre to remove my dead foetus. Or the nights following where I was wailing on my couch, crying out to God for my womb to carry a child.
It took me to 2014 where I was praying for my career. I had worked hard for a degree from a reputable university and still I couldn’t get a permanent job in my chosen field.
It took me to 2015 where again I was bent double over the toilet seat as I miscarried our child. And the months that followed wondering if Finlay would ever get a sibling.
It took me to 2016 where I spent nine months of the year in fear I would lose our unborn twins and praying for their safe delivery into the world.
But it also took me to 2019. To my messy living room and three loads of washing a day. To the pile of dishes at the sink and lego bricks on the floor. It helped me see that the clean house and perfectly home cooked meals aren’t what’s important. God has gifted me with exactly what I prayed for all those years ago: a husband, three healthy, happy children and a career I can be proud of. The career part might have changed a bit. From being a teacher to now being a stay at home mum but if I’m being honest I much prefer my new job. Ok the hours are longer and the pay is a lot less but the rewards are so much greater.
For Mother’s Day this year I didn’t want any gifts. Instead I asked for a lunch out so I could spend time with my family, cherishing the small annoying parts of life and remembering how blessed I am.
I don’t write any of this to show off and make anyone believe if you pray hard enough all your dreams will come true. I want people to understand that there have been many bumps along the road for me and there probably will be a a lot more to come. But right now, in this moment, I’m going to pause and take stock of what I have and try my best to treasure it.