Today I spent time in the company of a fellow twin Mum. I always find these times so refreshing. I love watching her with her babies and seeing her do the same things as me. The same techniques for picking them up, the dilemma of which screaming baby to go to first (Twin 1. Always twin 1 before they set off twin 2) and her ability to feed both babies at the same time while looking so cool and calm. What makes this Mum even more amazing is that she is a first time Mum! Her twins were her first pregnancy. Twin life is all she knows and in my opinion she has taken to it like a duck to water!
Our weekly catch ups cover an array of exciting topics from “poo-namis” (an explosion of poo all the way up a baby’s back) to behaviour techniques to use in the classroom (yes my twin Mum is a fellow teacher.) Today, however, she asked me a question which I get asked by so many: “How do you do it?” And I responded with my robotic answer of: “I just do it”. Then I stopped and said: “Why are you asking me that question when you do the exact same as me?!” It got us both thinking about the annoying and repetitive questions we get asked as twin mummies. I also thought about my responses and how they can be so robotic that I end up answering five questions when I’ve only been asked one. All because I don’t want to be asked the remaining four questions and would rather continue with my morning walk.In order for you all to understand my frustration I have decided to compile a list of frequently asked twin questions, my current answers and the answers I wish I had the guts to give.
*Disclaimer: Now I recognise I have only been in the twin game for 5 months so I’m a newbe at this. I also apologise if, reading this, you are slightly offended as you have been one of the people who has asked one of these questions. I know if I wasn’t a twin Mum I would be asking them too.
1. Is it twins?
This is a common one when you are out for a walk with the pram. I mean I’m pushing a double PRAM. Not a double buggy.
Response: Yes they are twins. But what I really want to say is of course they are twins. It’s a double pram!
2. Are they identical?
This is normally said once people have peeped into the pram to have a nosey. They can easily see it’s a boy and girl as one is in pink and the other blue (original I know!)
Response: No. Boy girl twins can’t be indentical. But I have always wanted to add this sentence on: because they have different genitalia and identical normally means the same.
3. Do twins run in your family?
I too, before I had twins, thought that they were genetic. Having since had twins I’ve found out that non identical twins are the only twins that are genetic.
Response: The above is too lengthy to go into with someone you don’t know who has stopped you on the street. I simply say no there are no twins on either side (even though it’s only the female side that twins “travel” down)
4. It must have been a big surprise?
After the answer to question 3 question 4 normally follows.
Response: “Yes!!!!!!” I don’t really know what else to say to this one other than to scream it at the top of my lungs, which might not be a good idea in public.
5. You must have your hands full?
Response: “Yes it’s hard work.” I never really know how much information they want. Do they want me to go through my daily routine? Or are they just asking as it seems like something to say?
So when I got for walk and someone asks me: “Are they twins?” My response is as follows: “Yes they are twins, boy girl twins. No they aren’t identical. Their names are Autumn and Isaac. They were a big surprise as there aren’t any twins on either side.” And then the person asking looks at me like I’m a freak and I can hear their thoughts “I only asked her if they were twins!”
I’m still waiting to be asked the most personal and rude question regarding twins (unlike my fellow twin Mum who was asked this): “Were they conceived naturally?” If someone asks me this I don’t think I will be able to stop myself “word vomiting” a rather open and honest response. The kind of response I would wish I hadn’t given once it’s out of my mouth.
** For any of you nosey enough to want to know the answer: let’s just say our marital bed has seen better days (wink wink) **